The Irresistible Woman | Christina Wiley - Empowering Relationship Coach for Women

This is part one of a five part series of posts on understanding people using the DISC model of human behavior. I use the DISC model of human behavior to understand people's personality because it is extremely reliable.

During this five part series on understanding people and their personalities we will explore ourselves first. Why do we first look inward? Because it gives us the confidence and knowledge we need to then understand others and how they perceive us.

For example, you may think you're helping and motivating someone with your words and all they hear is you being forceful telling them what to do.  You may simply be asking questions to clarify a project's purpose and the person you're talking to feels like you don't think they know what they're doing and you're interrogating them. You might be trying to convey your passion and enthusiasm for an upcoming event and the person you're talking with thinks you're just an excited idiot. Do you see the problem?

The problem is...

The problem is between the differences in personalities and perception. Our personality type is like a filter through which we hear and relate with others. Now, your personality isn't something you're stuck with and can not enhance and strengthen.

I also want to be sure and point out that all four personality types: D - Determined Doer, I - Energetic Influencer, S - Stable Supporter, and C - Cautious Contemplator are good. It's what you do with your personality that matters most.

You can choose to overpower others, manipulate them, get taken advantage of or be overly critical and negative, or you can choose to come from an attitude of service, put others first, be bolder or be positive and encouraging - depending on your personality type.

We always have a choice in how we act, react, communicate and relate with each other. Always.

Last night I was watching the movie "Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer". The Silver Surfer is an alien from another planet sent ahead of the "Destroyer" to prepare our world for destruction. In one of the scenes Jessica Alba's character, Susan Storm, has an encounter with the Silver Surfer.

She basically talks to him about stopping the "Destroyer" instead of preparing planet after planet for destruction. The Silver Surfer simply states that he doesn't have a choice. "Susan" replies that he did have a choice. The Silver Surfer remained unconvinced of this as he explained his dilemma. In the end, the Silver Surfer admits that "Susan" was right, that we always have a choice.

We can use our personalities to encourage and build each other up for success or we can use our personalities to dominate, manipulate, be a pushover or burst everyone's bubble with our negativity. We always have a choice.

During the month of January and into February we are going to take a look at the strengths of each personality type as well as the areas that can be improved. You will have a greater understanding of yourself and the impact you have on others.

Then you can choose whether you want to use your personality for good or for evil. Don't worry, it's going to be a fun, enlightening and encouraging process.

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